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Letter from a Broken Heart


January 1, 2011

Yes, I still check my email to see if you wrote me.  To see if you are thinking about me.  If I wrote you each time I thought of you, you’d have 100 emails in an hour.  I miss our conversations.  I miss your warm hands underneath my skirt.  I miss your eyes looking at me as only you can do.  I miss your soft kisses on my neck.  I miss your soft toes on my thighs.

How are you?  What does your apartment look like?  It is empty?  Clean?  Waiting for the right furniture?  Or is it colorful and fun?  Do you live with anyone?  You must be seeing someone because you are too handsome to be alone.   Have you given your heart to anyone else?  I imagine her to be beautiful and tall.  Fun and kind -- all the things that you are. 

I hope that you are able to move on and find the love that you deserve.  I hope that you have lots of babies and your mate is kind and thoughtful.  I want all those things for you -- things I will never have.  May your life turn out great!

I was born July 21, 1980 and died on January 2, 2011.  How can I be dead and alive at the same time you wonder?  It's easy.  All you have to do is make the worst decision of your life and live with it until you take your last breath.

"Her Name was Joy"
linocut on map, (Inner Experience of the World)
©2014 Suzanne Coley
Letters from a Broken Heart Series, 2014

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